So the Powerball is now at $524 million and could reach well beyond $700 million by Saturday. That's not enough to buy the Miami Dolphins, but it gets me closer to it than where I am. And yes, if I had $1 billion, I'd buy the Miami Dolphins, because, like all fans, I'm deluded enough to believe I could run that team better.
What would I do if I was the owner? First things first, have to hire a new coach. Sean Payton and Chuck Pagano are staying with their teams. There's Tom Coughlin won two Super Bowls for the Giants. Miami has spoken with Mike Shanahan, who also has a couple titles to his name. Forget all of them!
Let's bring back the name that brought Miami to greatness in the first place: Shula.
I don't mean Don, of course. I'm talking about his son, Mike. That name is royalty here. We're not giving this guy the reins just because of his daddy's accomplishments. Mike (Shula) has a pretty impressive resume in just the last few years alone.
He took over as quarterback coach at Carolina and helped Cam Newton win Rookie of the Year. As the offensive coordinator he may have led Newton to the MVP this year. And, they're just a few games away from a Super Bowl title. More impressive, Carolina scored the most points of any team with 500 in 2015. Miami had 310.
Shula could make Ryan Tannehill a top 10 quarterback next year. That's right, I said it. Shula can help Tannehill, not just by setting up a better offense, but also teach him how to make those last second adjustments at the line. Again, look at how far Newton has come. And, we already have a bunch of other weapons on offense.
Devante Parker and Jarvis Landry are like the new iteration of the Marks Bros., but maybe something more like JarVante, or Darvis or just DJ. Shula makes this offense potent immediately. I'm not saying Shula will take the team to as many titles as his father, but he makes this team competitive. He's a Shula. Come on, we can use another steakhouse to go with another Lombardi trophy.
The other thing I would do -- put five of these guys on the offensive line. I doubt anyone will be touching Tannehill if I have a line of sumo wrestlers, minus the Mawashi.
(Admit it, you've made that joke like every year when talking to your friends about what the Dolphins need to get better -- an offensive line.)
The running attack is solid. We're good at the tight end position. The defense wasn't stellar, but it can be tweaked just a little. On paper this team should be competitive. You don't believe that? Miami had 438 yards in the season closer to New England's 196. Tannehill looked stellar and Tom Brady was anything but Bradyesque. And I don't buy that New England wasn't trying. They wanted home field advantage.
I would bring back the old logo and colors. The Monday Night game with the throwback uniforms was the only bright spot of the season for me. I miss those beautiful stark teal and orange combinations and the old Dolphin logo on the helmet.
To be honest, let's go back even further. I started digging through old team logos and uniforms and it hit me: Why not have a different throwback uniform for every game of the year? We can be the Oregon Ducks of the NFL, but in retro.
These are the things I would do as the owner. You may be thinking, Luis, you're still drinking eggnog. No, I hate the stuff. I'm just a Fins fan, and I'm tired of starting the season with high hopes only to give up by week five. I'm daydreaming because as a Dolphins fan, all I want is to be able to laugh at Patriots fans for how we knocked them out of the division championship, then out of the playoffs. I want to have a reason to watch football beyond Jan. 2.
It's also sad that we're in Miami and right now the hottest team playing is the one that plays on ice. And I'm not making fun of the Florida Panthers. This is actually exciting to have a hockey team that's winning (10 straight as of this posting), and they have 43-year-young Jaromir Jagr. It just feels good knowing that we men in their 40s can still be productive.
At least the Fins aren't one of the three teams looking to move to L.A. But these sad pathetic seasons make me just want to plop down in front of the TV and watch "Any Given Sunday" -- over and over.
By the way, some love and props go out to Mike Piazza for finally getting into the Baseball Hall of Fame. He had an amazing, but controversial, career with numerous teams, mostly the Los Angeles Dodgers and the New York Mets.
But, how many of you remember that week in the 1998 season when Piazza was a Florida Marlin? In that week he played five games, had five hits and five RBI's.
