We thought the Animal Kingdom had gone a bit crazy last year, but all that was just a precursor to the crazy Florida stories we’ve seen in 2017. This year, the Sunshine State has seen the development of professional snake hunters, a state-funded position for an iguana wrangler and piss-drunk possums.
And while we’re not particularly happy that we have so many crazy animal stories to pick from this year, some people have learned the need to fact-check through them. Hopefully, you’ll find some entertainment instead of nightmares out of this 2017 roundup. Also, don’t forget to close your windows before you sleep.
Here are some of our staff picks for craziest wildlife stories of 2017:
Kinkajou, not Pikachu
It’s cute and fuzzy, but you probably don’t want to go to bed with it uninvited.Just ask this lady.
What did your roommate bring home?
Ever have a brilliant idea in college? These kids thought they did, but we can’t imagine how bad it must have smelled.
They can't catch a break
The endangered Key deer were already having a tough year, losing more than 100 animals to the first U.S. screwworm outbreak in decades. Then in July, a Monroe County sheriff's deputy pulled over a car because of a broken tail light — and saw two deer hogtied in the back seat.
Alcoholics a-possum-us?
Dumb Florida criminals make headlines every year. This year, even Florida’s wildlife is getting larcenous, like this opossum, which broke into a liquor store but got too drunk to get out.
That's a big snake
Good thing we never run out of Burmese python stories because the invasive snakes are a huge problem for the Everglades. There's now a state program that pays forpythons by the foot. Visiting snake trackers from India came to share their expertise and a six-footer made its way to Lincoln Road. (Turns out, six feet really isn't that big...)
The state wants to hire you
You know what job the state needs to fill? That of local iguana wrangler. Think you qualify with your fast-twitch motor skills? Think again, Masters preferred.
