A Male Blogger Considers The Amazingly Awesome Shoes To Be Seen At Art Basel

Dec 6, 2012

I know why I got the assignment to write about the shoes. It's because I'm an older, generally well-meaning white guy whose cluelessness, tinged with naive sexism, would be more hilarious than these actual shoes from Art Basel.

Let me be clear, I see nothing funny about this. And I am a little offended by the idea that men are not capable of forming reasonable opinions of women's shoes.

An assignment, however, is an assignment.

This selection of footwear was photographed and curated by my colleagues Alicia Zuckerman and Arianna Prothero. The five examples, presented in no particular order,  were spotted in artistic exhibitions and on the feet of real-life women (as Alicia and Arianna are themselves). 

This appears to be a pair of Converse All-Star-style tennis shoes, dyed and sprinkled with glitter to achieve a "Ziggy Stardust Takes the Garbage Out" kind of vibe. Nothing wrong with these shoes; even sensible, I'd say, considering it's Art Basel. 

Looking at these shoes as I'm sure a woman would, the first things I notice are the safety features: the reassuring Achilles tendon protectors winding up the calf and, particularly,  those sturdy weight-bearing braces at the bottom of the heels. I think too many women ask too much of their skinny little heels and I'm surprised there haven't been more injuries. 

While it's unlikely your feet will sweat all that much in these excellent, ventilated shoes, you should be concerned about the unbuttressed heel (see previous item) and God only knows where you will find the right socks. On the other hand, these would probably accommodate your Dr. Scholl's® Massaging Gel™  insoles, no problem. I could go either way on this Art Basel shoe.

Ummm...I got nothing. All women's shoes look like this to me.

Credit Desiree Tizon, @deziisdopex3 via Twitter

Spikes and animal teeth with a switchblade on each heel! And you know what? They could have gone way over the top with this stylish footwear. That must be why they call it "Art" Basel and not "Tacky" Basel. You should buy these shoes and wear them home. Carefully.